Once again I wish to mention this is my own research,
thoughts and opinions. This does not
represent the thoughts or opinions of the United States Army or the Armed
Forces. I am proud of my Country and
this great progressive military that has allowed me to serve. These are my own bumps and bruises on the
road and have NOTHING to do with CURRENT Army policy and reflect only on those
mentioned. I will also not use any real
names unless given specific permission because it’s rude.
 |
| Saying Goodbye as advance party for my 2nd deployment in 2007. |
"Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands.
"Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.” –Abigail Adams to her Husband John
It seems I have so many modern conveniences
and yet I am often found in the company of those who mentally live before Roe v. Wade,
Einstadt V. Baird, Griswold V. Connecticut and way before women’s suffrage.* Now the quote above was from Abigail Adams to
John Adams.** Abigail was an amazing and strong woman who spoke her mind and her husband
adored her for it. So it seems did his
colleagues in the Continental Congress.
I can hear you now… “What????” She is definitely someone to research if you are interested in women's history or even the history of our country since she was the woman beside John Adams.
Now that we have discussed women’s history a bit, I would
like to bring you back to women’s military history as I know it. When the WAC was initiated women were considered not equal to men. In spite of how
much they brought to the fight: skills, intelligence, drive, perspective, and
so on, they were still not allowed to go past Lieutenant Colonel unless they
were appointed Director of Women and then they were allowed to go as high as
Colonel. So close to a General’s star
it was almost devastating to some I imagine.
During that time women could not have children while serving in the military and unless she proved she
was the primary “bringer of the bacon” she would not be granted regular
compensations such as Basic Allowance for Housing (BAH). I won’t lie, I felt
like I just chewed up an aspirin to swallow when I read that.
Here comes the sticky part.
Women were not exactly welcomed with open arms by many of our
counterparts in 1978 up until even now.
Things are better and the Armed Services as a whole are cracking down on
it, but sexual harassment and discrimination are still there. Aside from the childish jokes that often occur in such a stressful environment there is a real problem with discrimination and harassment against women. Education is the only way to solve this
problem. You may wonder why this is
pertinent; because if you are not only a woman but a mother too you are hit
even harder with the discrimination.
When I first joined in 1997 it was rough. I believe the words "you all ruin everything" come to mind... At some point I did gain the respect of many
fellow Soldiers but it was too late and I was heading out the door to be with my then husband.
In 2002 after my awkward marital separation where I left
Kansas and returned to Oregon to be with my family I wasn’t sure what I wanted
to do. I worked for a temp-to-hire
agency and went from being a stay-at-home mom for two years to being a mom who
worked 40 hours a week, traveled 15 hours a week to and from work, went to
school on-line, and had about $100
left at the end of the week to play with only because I lived with my brother
who so graciously allowed me houseroom.
Funny how little money you have when you pay for gas, car, insurance,
childcare, a cheap cell phone, and a consolidated credit debt that included
your estranged husband’s debt. To top it all off I missed the Army but knew
that as a mom without a spouse it would be difficult. I was already in the
inactive ready reserves, which is sort of a voluntary draft program that one goes into to fulfill their mandatory eight year obligation, so I found a recruiter and next thing I knew I had
orders to join an Engineer Company out of Portland Oregon in July of 2002. Only two months after I left my husband I was
a mother serving her country.
I knew my company was mobilizing by September of that year and looking
at my son hurt. It physically hurt to
see his sweet little face and yell “mommy!”, when I would come home from training. It hurt knowing that my life would
be forever changed and praying it wouldn’t be detrimental to my son. Before I knew it I left my temp-to-hire job
and was in the middle of a custody battle with my then husband. I had to pack up and put faith in my family
to care for him. I did a family care
plan*** and a legal non-parental custody set up for my sister. To make this all worse many failed to realize I
wouldn’t just hang out in Kuwait or Germany while the men went up to work**** in
Iraq so I felt a little insulted. Certain
members of my family tried to convince me to use my son to get out of my
duties. They would say things like, "When he (my son) grows up he will never trust women because you abandoned him". I said I can’t, it would not be
right. I made a commitment, and I still
remembered vividly seeing the second plane go through the towers live from the news on
September 11, 2001. I had to go, and I
believed that while it may be hard on my son it would teach him so much about
honoring your commitments and the importance of patriotism and fulfilling our civic
duty. By January
of 2003 my company was mobilized, and heading for our pre-mobilization training then to Kuwait to wait for the invasion.
I believe that before I go forward it is really important to know how I started and how I ended
up here. Hopefully anyone who reads this can relate to at least a small part of what this has meant for my life to make these decisions and feel they are in good company when they have had to make their difficult choices. I was a Specialist then, that’s
an E-4 or basically a glorified private; I have come so far and have so much to
tell. When I run out of things to say I
hope to give voice to other women who have done the same.
So you aren’t left confused, why did I bring up those Supreme Court Rulings? Those Court Rulings are about allowing women freedom to make our own choices. No one has to like them or agree with them, but you cannot have a free country where half of the country are repressed or subjected to the will of others. Abigail Adams was correct; don’t forget about the ladies, we are strong and able whether we serve our country by being in the Armed Forces, at a corporate desk, behind a counter or at home with our families. It is all serving our country when we educate those around us by being ourselves and doing our part to make the world a better and more hospitable place. Education by way of experience and exposure is what will drive home the message that we are here to stay and no amount of bullying by those few who still fight our presence in the Armed Forces is going to keep us down for long.
So you aren’t left confused, why did I bring up those Supreme Court Rulings? Those Court Rulings are about allowing women freedom to make our own choices. No one has to like them or agree with them, but you cannot have a free country where half of the country are repressed or subjected to the will of others. Abigail Adams was correct; don’t forget about the ladies, we are strong and able whether we serve our country by being in the Armed Forces, at a corporate desk, behind a counter or at home with our families. It is all serving our country when we educate those around us by being ourselves and doing our part to make the world a better and more hospitable place. Education by way of experience and exposure is what will drive home the message that we are here to stay and no amount of bullying by those few who still fight our presence in the Armed Forces is going to keep us down for long.
On a final note, I do not, nor will I ever believe that we
will replace men. As I told my husband
the other night after seeing a political figure make comments of how horrible feminists are, (what about women who just believe in HUMAN rights?) I don’t want him to be less of a man to feel better about
myself. It is much better if he is "more"
of a man challenging me to be "more" of a woman.
Please feel free to leave any questions or comments. Let's make this a conversation!
Please feel free to leave any questions or comments. Let's make this a conversation!
*Women’s Suffrage was the movement that ended in women being
granted the right to vote by the 19th Amendment to the constitution.
(1920) Griswold V. Connecticut is the Supreme Court case that ended in deciding
we should have access to birth control.
(1965) Einstadt V. Baird is the Supreme Court Case where it was found
that single and married people should have equal rights and access to birth
control if they wish to have it. (1972) Roe V. Wade is the Supreme Court case
that determined a woman’s decision to an abortion is between her and her
doctor. (1973) Griswold V. Connecticut
is the Supreme Court case that ended in deciding we should have access to birth
control. (1965)
** First Vice President of the United States and second President
***proving I had provided for my son in my absence which is required by
Army
Regulation 600-20 and I have recently been told I am required to have
one even though I'm married... odd my male friends with spouses and
children are not asked for this...Just putting that out there!
**** I won’t say fight because
essentially I dug holes, I did not fight.
I won’t insult my girlfriends who have had to fire their weapons by
claiming to be one of them.
As always I encourage you to research it for a greater depth
of understanding and check out my resources!
Knowledge is power.
